5 poems by Ryan Riffenburgh

Super Bowl XVI and Also Last Week 

Today I went on my roof and thought about my mother young 

In Central Valley America with its rolling golden hills of wild Rye. Pushed back behind I5 and the airport. Or under a water tower kissed soft or held like a child. Screamed a loud “so what” at 18-wheelers with methmen behind the wheel. Shotgunned in your father’s car in October dry heat. 

I’ve grown to be jealous of her. 

In all my hairpin turns there wasn’t a single volta. 

The day after I thought about second chances and chances and chances again; Her dying and healing and dying again 

And my many wasted days 

In ER lobbies waving flags white in truce or Morphine IV slow dripping soft clear jelly so hard in your vein; how IF I had it MY WAY, I might plug myself in with you and coast down the hallway on wheels. Lights above us passing like the trucks out on I5. 

Once again the week slides through me without a change of heart. I grasp for a handle with hands that slip. Poor habits rotate in my record hall and I let memories be the center that I spin around. 

And there she is just the same

Thai Boxing 

Thunder cracked hard over That Phanom. 
A 13 year old boxer died of a brain hemorrhage two days after being knocked out His 175th bout 
Lying spiritless under dim halogen 
in gaudy shorts, moist on the taught canvas 

Years before, 
they cut the nerves on his shins 
Disposed of the useless cordage 
in some corner office in That Phanom 

The only photos I find of Anucha Tasako online 
are those of his funeral 
His school photo adorned with spring flowers 
Tendrils finding their way into the space 
below the knees 

Occasionally I find him premortem, 
Statued 
With fists held high beside preteen eyes 
wrapped tight with medical tape

Fresno 

There's a brown tint burned into the lawn in the 
backyard where strips of green find the strength to 
push through the soil. 

Ceramic angels crowd the edges, gazes downcast; I 
wonder if their two dollar divinity is what guides the 
healthy grass to the surface. 

My sister was engaged to be married yesterday and 
my moms in the kitchen and my grandmother is in the 
bedroom with my vegetable uncle. 

I sit in the living room and watch the game in the 
same chair where my grandfather used to shoot up 
insulin. 

We have dinner with foamy microwave membrane on 
the mashed potatoes and say a prayer before we start. 

Hand in ugly hand

No One Can Run Downhill Fast As a Thoroughbred 

Maria is on the floor of the shower silvering in the waters shiny grasp 
And the liquid runs through her hair 
Permeable in its million pieces 
At the end it surrenders 
Expanding and sliding down the drain 
Her words run laps or miles 
(whichever comes first) 
Yet she doesnt say a thing 
Outside there are Georgia Pines 
And a soft hum of the Cicadas 
In their familial groan 
but there wasn't much to hear under 
the waterfall 
Other than the deaf pound from above 

When I wrote to her some months ago 
I told her how it got hot again but dark fast 
I told her about how I would stay up 
thinking about the holding patterns over LAX 
How they maybe spelled something out or made a shape an outline even of someone we mutually knew
How the little circles showed faces of second lives beginning

Ryan Riffenburgh is a writer and musician from Ventura, California. He is one of the primary songwriters of the band Outwest and is currently pursuing a BA in poetry from UCLA.

Photographs by Dylan Meyer


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