High Horse

Untitled: 

For sale:
Fox tail
Never used

A Short Poem

I wonder if Jesus ever got hayfever
If Jesus was poorly made

It's natural when you make me go to hospital
Because you made my heart sneeze

You didn't do anything wrong
I am just poorly made

A Crush Poem

Olivia Rodrigo straddling a bass guitar 
In some vajazzled wet dream 

I never knew I liked your guts this much 
Until I got fucked up in the garden WWE 

I am a little gay and pathetic 
My stupid tattoo scraped off on the concrete 

I thought you’d find that cute 
You being a pop star and me 
Being nobody 
Is hard but worth it, Olivia 

Something Spikier

Why does love mean love? 
It should be a different word 

Girlfriend: 

Every night I hope to fucking God 
You place 9th in Mario Kart 
8th is fine I guess 
But 9th and any worse even better last place 
That's how I know you’re the best girlfriend in the world 

Just before I finally fall to sleep 
I think about you picking the cutest Super Smash Bros 
character Spamming every button and getting real fucking lucky 
And beating me at my own game 

When I say Insaniqaurium 
You say what? 
I say it's a fish tank simulator with monsters 
I’ve literally spent 208 hours on this game 
You couldn't care less 

You have no earthly idea how to be a boy 

I love you so much

If I Had Cancer

I wouldn’t die 
I would lick it 

If someone else had cancer 
It would be delicious 

But lately 
I haven’t been hungry 

Everything tastes like shit 

Because I love you too much 
It makes me sick 

And it’s too early to eat 
You don’t deserve this

Casper Kelly is a writer living in the United Kingdom. He only comes out at night. Instagram: @paris_texaco